Guidance Officer
Starting School – Helping your child start confidently.
Staring Prep, or returning to school, can mean some students experience anxiety. This is, of course, quite normal and common. Experiencing anxiety helps children learn to trust in the world, trust themselves, and trust others. Everyone experiences different levels of anxiety at different times in their lives, whether it’s starting school, starting a new year level, beginning a new job or other experiences.
Separation anxiety is developmentally normal for children. It often peaks when they are around 18 months and generally starts to ease off between four and five years of age, as they enter the school years. It can reoccur at different ages and stages of schooling and can even fluctuate day to day, with some children feeling happy to be dropped off at school one day, then find if harder the next. Below are some tips that may help make those morning drop offs a little easier.
1. Expressing to our children our positivity about school helps us them know that school is a safe place to be.
2. Be ready to go: Reduce stress and the sense of rushing by having bags packed, uniforms ready, and lunch organised. Involve your child in prepping these things.
3. Share stories: There are great books about being away from family and going to school to read together, check out the library or online for ideas on this topic. You could also share your own experiences of school so they can learn from you.
4. Practise and prepare: If they are in prep or have started somewhere new, do practice runs so they become familiar with environment, or show them photos so they know what to expect. Point things out that they might like: “Look, they have monkey bars!”
5. Play a game: Role play the morning routine with their favourite toys. Let them pretend to be the teacher – many kids love to take charge! Try to keep role plays brief if they are getting the hang of it, so it doesn’t become a chore.
6. Calm, consistent and fun: Keep mornings as calm and consistent as possible. Children thrive from predictable routines. You may want to create a picture schedule of what they need to do to get ready. You could also have some fun on the way, ride a bike, listen to favourite music for the car trip there with a sing along!
If separation anxiety continues
While helping children separate confidently can happen quickly for some, it can take some time for others, and may require a lot of support and a lot of time for others still. If separation anxiety persists, and, at worst, becomes excessive, it can interfere with a child’s daily functioning, emotional regulation and learning. For children who are repeatedly distressed, it can be an emotionally draining experience for everyone. Using a step ladder approach can be a useful analogy to help your child develop the skills they need to feel less anxious. As parents you play an integral role to help your child build confidence to engage in the world around them, and participate in school. However, if you do find separation anxiety persists, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
What is the stepladder approach for anxiety?
The stepladder approach is a step-by-step way of helping children learn to handle anxious situations.
It works like this:
• Start with a situation or thing that causes your child the least anxiety. Sometimes your child might need to practise the situation a few times until they feel comfortable with it.
• Move on to another situation that makes your child feel a bit more anxious. Again, go through it a few times until your child can handle it. Practice is important.
• Work with your child on tackling situations that gradually get more challenging.
• Give your child plenty of praise and reassurance.
• Know your child’s emotional triggers and how these affect you.
• Be patient and persistent, and focus on small gains not the final goal.
Taken from the Australian Parenting website
• https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/anxiety-stepladder-approach
For more related information about separation anxiety
• (https://beyou.edu.au/fact-sheets/mental-health-issues-and-conditions/separation-anxiety)
• https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/separation-anxiety